Today's Moment

That moment when you're scared because you know you didn't say the right thing. That anxious moment where you have to sit and wait for the bitching of your life. I hate that moment. That moment has become incorporated into almost every single day of my life. That moment has become routine, and no matter what I say or do, it will always be there. I'm afraid for that moment today. I don't want to hear it today. Thinking about today's moment makes me sick to my stomach. I want to pretend I'm sleeping to avoid it. But God knows that won't stop it. God knows that nothing can stop that moment. That moment makes me cry. It makes me feel stupid and unworthy. I wish that moment could just change. I wish I could have a good, confidence-building moment on the daily, not one of these moments. I can feel it getting closer. I'm counting the seconds before it happens. I feel nauseated and light-headed realizing that every word I type is a few seconds closer to having to face my moment. But there's nothing I can do. Here it comes, and there's nothing I can do about it. Fuck this moment.